I want to be a perfect mom. Haha who doesn’t? Is it a pretty steep goal that I know I will never actually meet because every day I am growing and learning. More realistically, I should say I want to be the best mom I know how to be. I feel like some days I take a good step forward and then one tantrum can throw me 5 steps back. It is kind of a vicious cycle, but I am trying to learn from my mistakes.
Most everyone has their opinions on the proper way to discipline. So no matter your technique someone out there is going to think it is wrong. #1 rule, your family is YOUR family and what works for you may not work for everyone.
I recently read the book No Bad Kids by Janet Landsbury. WOW, eye opening. I really recommend the book. It’s a short, quick, easy read. I initially bought the book because we have issues with Mya hitting. Mostly she hits just me and nick and herself. She doesn’t have a large vocabulary, so I understand she does it because she is frustrated and can’t tell us what she wants. But seeing your kind scream and hit themselves will break your heart. Not to mention when were in public it is extremely embarrassing when you get bitch slapped by your toddler. I wanted to learn how to help her express her feelings in a different way. I also wanted to learn how I could be more consistent in discipline and my reactions. It isn’t fair to any child if the reaction they get out of you is different day to day for the same behavior. With Mya’s hitting we have tried a few different things. Sometimes I just tell her “NO, we don’t hit”. Sometimes when she hits herself I just ignore it. Sometimes I sit her in timeout. And I have noticed when I’m already frustrated or having a bad day i’ll smack her hand for her hitting me. Yeah I know, it makes no sense. It doesn’t make sense to me and I’m 30 (30 ouch, I think that’s the 1st time I’ve had to say that out load). But imagine a 3 year old hearing we don’t hit, and then getting hit on the hand? Hello momma, that is confusing! But that is me letting my emotions take over in that moment. Emotions should never be involved in any discipline and that is exactly what I’m working on.
I’ll never forget before Mya was born we were going to the lake with two of our friends and their child. The child was maybe one at the time? Anyways, he scram non-stop for about 20 minutes on the way there. I was dying inside!! My friend actually apologized and told us she was sorry if it was bothering us. She said she just tunes it out. I was like what!? How do you tune this out? I was thinking, when it was your child maybe it is different. Maybe it won’t bother me as much when I have my own child. Nope. One thing to this day that goes straight through me is when we are in the car and Mya screams bloody murder. She hated the car as a newborn and to this day if she doesn’t have a binky (yes she is 3 and still has a binky, we will save that for a different post) she will scream! And what do I do? I turn around and scream at her for screaming. It is another situation where I let my emotions take over. I envy those mom’s that just tune it out. Teach me your ways!!
So today, I am far from a perfect mom and I am okay with that. I am working on being a better version of the momma I currently am and being consistent with the reactions Mya gets out of me.
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